winter wonders

Today was the first cold day in a while and I bloody love it.
I love the rain, I love not being able to any washing cause of the rain and I love getting into my ridiculously stupid pjs that mother tells me I look like a chubby toddler in... along with their pig hat and matching slippers.
I have decided to whip up an apricot chicken dish for dinner... I have it all waiting to be cooked but I have a funny feeling its going to be crap... It said to use a whole pack of french onion soup.... which I did but I only used 1kg of chicken whereas the recipe said to use 1.5kg... so I've gone OTT with apricot nectar hoping itll cancel it out.
I also bought a shit load of chocolate. pretty stoked about it.
I will be gutted if its shit because it will be the tenth shit meal I have made because I tend to not be able to follow recipe's.
I need to marry a chef...
Im going to go make myself a hot choc now... laced with marshmellows perfect for the weather and the figure :)

GTM.

So pretty stoked I sold my ticket to groovin... as everyone I have spoken to had a shit time.
I picked the boyfriend and his friend up at 6... they were having that much of a super fun time...
so I'm not at all bothered and glad I worked rather than run around wild taking drugs.

I have a day off today and while I dont at all work full time/anywhere near that... its weird having NOTHING to do. No washing to do... well I will unnecessarily wash sheets and stuff but not really, no boys to clean up after.... actually nothing to do.

Usually when I get this bored I look at dream jobs across the country/world and then get all emo and devo about how I cant actually move away because its my job to be here in Bunbury for Dave plus I am pathetic and get homesick after one hour... ridiculous.

growing up

I turn 21 soon. I'm not sure about it.

I love having a late birthday and being the youngest of my friends, and I love that people know I'm young and therefore overall just a bit crap... its almost just like well I feel like I can get away with being unsure, naive, shallow etc... but soon I wont be able to.

My boyfriend is three years older than me... and while that’s not really much older he’s lived tougher, grown up faster and doesn’t still get an allowance.

I suppose he can be a bit tough on me cause I’m such a ‘princess’... However it is all warranted.

Over the last year I’ve gone from being obsessed with having millions of friends and wanting everyone to love me to instead just caring about those who are important and in a way culling a few... especially boys who I’ve realised didn’t really care about me in the way I cared for them, and instead loved the idea of being with me momentarily. No bloody thank you.

The past few months I have learnt a lot about myself and realised how desperate I am to get married and start a family. I just am unsure about whether I want them for the right reasons or because I am petrified of the idea of working and making something of myself for myself... without the help of everyone around me.

I guess I have realised that I am not independent...and never have been. I am 20, lived out of home for 4 months and still can’t do it and have to go home every week to see my parents.

They had it tough and while they believe it’s important to do it tough and be poor and make mistakes along the way they also know I am precious and highly emotional and take some responsibility of bringing me up in a privileged community where I was given every opportunity that existed. Therefore... they still give me everything which I am very grateful for.

I guess time will tell and hopefully in the next six months I can work out what I want to do with my life, or at least learn to live without the financial help from my parents.

As for now I am living down here to support my boyfriend with Uni so I could be here another 4 years. Because that’s what you do when you are absolutely entirely in love with someone and never want to live apart from them.

411

I have started a blog because I can and it seems to the be the thing to do these days.
I dont plan on writing super well because... well I cant really be effed.
And dont feel I need to... as I am perfect at writing well and have a degree in it... and therefore I deserve to be a bit slack and gramatically incorrect because I am a perfct spella so I'm totes jst screwing ya no?
so...
I have recently moved two hours from home so have a lot of spare time that usually I would have spent with my friends.
I really miss them but I am glad I'm here.
No more weekly trips down here, and the masses amount of petrol to see my boyfriend.
Now I live with him and I love it.
He is nothing like me, in fact we are oppisites.
As he likes to say that he is the braun and I am the brain.
basically he is a stereotypical babe... arrogant but adorable.
He is a hard worker... while I am just generally shit at everything and am slack, precious and pathetic.
I went to Uni and did a Journalism/PR degree which I loved but now I hate the idea of having a career... so I work about 10 hours in a pub which I love.
This town has been good to me. I've made some really good friends at work who are all like me and have recently ended up here for mainly the reason that they too have followed their boyfy's/ for work.
I miss my bestfriend from home a lot but we still talk a ridiculous amount and see each other when we can... she however is the oppisite to me and all about hard work so she is always working.... ew. :(
Anyway... this is a start I suppose:)